10 Rules of Having a Threesome

Threesome

One of the most sexual adventures many people dream of is a threesome. No matter what kind of arrangement you have in mind, this can be a very exciting experience. However, adding another person into the mix isn’t a simple thing, especially sensitive for couples

When you have another person in bed, someone can feel pushed out, ignored, or simply outside of their comfort zone. It could create various relationship issues that you don’t want to have, especially since a threesome is supposed to be a beautiful experience. 

Luckily, there are lots of people who are willing to share their experiences with threesomes, and we talked to them for you. They suggested some essential rules that can help you avoid potential issues and let you relax while diving into a brand new sexual experience. Here are some rules to keep in mind. 

1. Make it Clear Why You Are Doing This 

No matter if you are in a committed relationship or you want to jump into bed casually with two other people, you need to know what everyone’s expectations are. However, not all of the reasons for having a threesome are good. 

For example, if you are looking to spice things up to improve your sex life, chances are you will be disappointed. A threesome can’t help you click better in bed. In fact, you might only make things worse. On the other hand, if you are doing a threesome just because your partner wants to, you might consider calling the whole thing off. 

If this is the case, the whole experience will be unpleasant for you. A threesome is not something that you can force on yourself. You either want to do it or not. If you’re not all on board with the whole thing, it won’t go that well. 

2. Don’t Ever do it With Someone You Know 

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to have a threesome with someone you know. Yes, we’ve all seen movies where people have threesomes with their friends or something like that. But this complicates things and should be avoided. 

First of all, if you sleep with a person that you know very well and you see each other regularly, there is a chance that someone will catch feelings. At the same time, it can go completely the other way, and the whole thing can disrupt your relationship. 

You might feel awkward near each other and completely destroy the relationship you had before. Avoid people with whom you have an emotional bond. It can be difficult to find reliable strangers, but luckily there are various hookup apps and sites that you can use to find the right people. 

All of the partners involved need to be satisfied with everyone involved. If someone isn’t on board, you won’t click in the bed, and everything will just be weird. 

3. Get Together and Talk About Things 

It’s important to have a conversation before you jump into bed, especially if you meet someone online. You simply need to know what that person is about. At the same time, you can easily misunderstand people online. 

You all need to be on the same page. At the same time, if you don’t know your +1, it’s generally good to meet them. No matter how relaxed you might be, jumping into bed with a stranger straight away can be a little uncomfortable. 

Meet for drinks, talk about your expectations, what you plan on doing, and when you want to do it. That’s how you can notice any potential issues early on and deal with them instantly. You don’t want something stupid happening during sex, especially with a stranger. 

Communication is essential in a threesome, especially if you have no experience. Get on the same page and keep each other updated. If you all know what to expect, you’ll also be able to relax and not overthink things. Overall, this will make your sex better. 

4. Always Use Protection 

Yes, you should always be using a condom in threesomes, which is especially important not just because of STDS, but also because of bacteria. When you are mixing with two people, you can easily get irritated by sharing your bodily fluids and mixing them up. 

If you are doing this with your partner, you two might be sleeping without a condom, but you shouldn’t do this with strangers ever. Some people think that they can use protection with the extra and take it off when they are getting it on. 

Not only that, this is impractical, but it also doesn’t work. You never know who will touch who and where. Things can get really hectic in a threesome, and you don’t need this standing over your head. What’s even worse is that two people can easily get infected with some STD if there’s no precaution. 

But having a threesome requires you to go a step further. All guys need to wear condoms and also avoid double-dipping. Simply put, if there are two women involved, the guy needs to change the condom for a new one before switching partners. 

5. Set Rules for Sex 

Threesomes increase options exponentially. Three people can do many different things together. At the same time, not all threesomes are the same. It all depends on the people involved and how many men or women are together in bed. 

When people get in a threesome, they often feel different than with a single partner. They can start doing things they don’t usually do. At the same time, the other person might turn them on in a different way and “inspire” them to do something “unusual.” 

But even if none of this happens, you need to bear in mind that people are different, particularly if you plan on doing this as a couple. Just because you know each other really well with your sexual do’s and don’ts, it doesn’t mean that your +1 will as well. 

When having a conversation, make sure to talk about some ground rules. Talk about your expectations like the poses you plan on using, who will penetrate who, do you like rough sex and other similar things. 

6. Make Sure to Include a Safe Word 

Even if you’re not having rough sex, it’s generally a good idea to have a safe word. If you want to feel comfortable while at the same time having the freedom to enjoy your new sexual experience, consider adding a safe word. 

All three people need to be on the same page. Find a safe word that is clear and easy to understand by everyone. This word will act as your safety net. For example, if you feel that someone’s taking things too far and being too rough, you can use this safe word. 

It can be very useful, especially if you don’t know each other. Testing out pain limits and sexual scenarios can be difficult, so to avoid having any doubts in your mind, use a safe word. Think of a safe word like a “stop” button. 

Whenever someone says it, everything stops. All of this makes you feel safer, helps you enjoy yourself at the moment, and relax completely, which is very important for people who are in a threesome for the first time. 

7. Everyone Should be Giving 

A threesome can be a strange arrangement. First of all, it depends on how many men and women are involved and in what kind of relationship they are. Everyone should know that they won’t get the 100% attention that they are used to with regular sex. 

Instead, people need to learn how to share and be more giving. What do we mean? Well, in threesomes, you will have to be boxed out at times and take care of the needs of the other two people, simple as that. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you when you’re feeling ignored; just try to make the most of it. 

Be generous with your touches, your mouth, and your hands. A threesome is sort of a cycle where people are constantly switching. There is always that one person who is either slightly or completely neglected. Everyone needs to be patient and be ready to help the other two people feel amazing. 

That doesn’t mean that you won’t get your opportunity to enjoy it. At the same time, think of it as an opportunity to build up your libido. Watching two people go at it can be very erotic. 

8. Avoid Favoring Anyone 

For most of us, this sounds like a logical thing, but even though people are aware of this, they still get heated up and carried away, especially guys. Men can easily get heated up when they are inside of a woman and feeling great. 

You also need to be involved and connected with the other person; a simple touch, kiss, and eye contact can go a long way. 

It can help that person feel appreciated and involved. No matter what you do, don’t focus all of your attention on one partner. But also make sure that you aren’t getting this kind of treatment. A threesome is about everyone enjoying themselves together. 

9. Keep Things Loose 

Yes, you should communicate, get prepared, talk about rules, and your wishes. However, this doesn’t mean that you should completely approach the whole thing like a robot. If all of your focus is one of these things, you won’t be able to enjoy yourself. 

You need to set some ground rules, but should be controlling and create a whole guide of conduct. If you start adding too many rules, you won’t have any room for sex, and people will get confused. Ultimately, the whole thing will be ruined, and you won’t enjoy it. 

Set some rules but let everyone express themselves sexually. The chemistry needs to develop on its own. Sex is a spontaneous thing, and it shouldn’t be controlled strictly. The point of adding an extra into the mix is to be spontaneous and experiment. 

If the person you’ve picked as your +1 has experience with threesomes, let him or her lead. Relax and ease into the moment. Do what feels right, and everything will happen on its own. 

10. Make it Clear That it Ends With Sex 

Whether you’re doing this on your own or with a partner, you need to make things clear – a threesome is about sex. You can’t let sex get in the way of your emotions or even disrupt your relationship. Yes, there are different kinds of people out there, but relationships with three people involved rarely work out for the best. 

Let everyone know that you are just having a good time and nothing else. There’s no talking after sex, chatting, or meeting up. Yes, if you are doing this with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you two can talk about what happened, talk about your impressions, and what you liked. 

This can help you work out how to behave in the future to make your three-ways even better. Setting these boundaries is very important to avoid awkward situations and conversations before they even happen. 

Bottom Line 

A threesome is an amazing sexual experience. But you need to find the right people for it and prepare properly for the whole thing to go well. Follow these rules, and you won’t have anything to worry about. You shouldn’t be missing out on things in life. 

If you want to experiment sexually, just do it. Even if you haven’t really thought about it, you can do it once for your partner. Who knows, maybe you will like it. 

Are you ready to find your next threesome?

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