How to Set Up a Successful Threesome

Set Up A Threesome

Honey, I was thinking for a while now, and I have decided to tell you something. I would like to have a threesome

These are the words most men can only dream of hearing from their partners. It’s labeled in our society as a hot adventure that we would all love to experience. Right? However, even though it’s considered to be a top sexual fantasy, a study from 2016 showed that only 13% of people who did the survey had experienced a threesome. 

64% of them only expressed their desire to engage in this kind of sex. From this study, we’ve learned that not so many of us dare to go beyond our desires and try it out. For all those who decided to finally break the ice, we give you our tips on how to set up a successful threesome. Let this be your first step in making your dreams come to life. 

Never Choose a Well-known Friend 

When choosing partners for a threesome, never choose a friend that is close to you. It always leads to problems in the future. You may never look at each other the same way as before. Try to meet somebody new, someone who will be only your sex pal, without any emotions involved. The best way to meet someone like this is on swinger sites or apps. People there are only into having fun and meeting people only for sex. 

Using a dating app 

If you choose to use a dating app, you will keep your privacy safe. It’s not an easy task to look for somebody open-minded in public. An app like The Unicorn will help you to meet others who are there to find couples like you. 

There is no need to feel embarrassed about proposing a threesome. Set up an account, and personalize it for your own needs. You will meet other members in no-time. 

Sex Clubs 

Sex clubs operate in many countries and are well advertised. These clubs are full of experienced people dressed in bathrobes. They will do their best to make you feel comfortable. In most of these clubs, you would only need to make a reservation in your name, and you’re in. 

Your privacy will remain safe, so there is no reason to worry about that. 

The most famous clubs in the world are :

  • KitKatClub — Berlin 
  • Snctm — New York, Los Angeles, and Moscow
  • Power Exchange — San Francisco 
  • Lab.oratory — Berlin
  • Les Chandelles — Paris 
  • Torture Garden — London
  • Killing Kittens -Worldwide
  • Trough X -Melbourne, Sydney, and London 
  • Dungeon Club — Tel Aviv
  • Berghain — Berlin 

Be Comfortable 

After you’ve found a person who is ready to do this with you and your partner, it’s very important to set the right mood. Sometimes it takes some time to make yourself comfortable. It’s completely normal, even for experienced participants. 

We recommend you going out on a couple of dates to get to know the person you are inviting. After relaxing with a couple of drinks, you will have no problem expressing your thoughts. That’s the best way to get to know each other.

Threesome cannot be successful if the wishes from all sides are not satisfied. So, try not to be shy on these dates. There will be no misunderstandings if you say your wishes, for that “real date” you are preparing for. The chemistry between three of you will kick in smoothly, which is the most important first step. 

Learn from Videos 

Before going into action, you can check out many porn sites that upload threesome videos – it’s a perfect way to learn new sex positions and to find your favorite. It will cut that awkward moment when nobody knows what to do. 

All three of you can watch together and make a plan of what you should and shouldn’t do. But, keep in mind that porn movies are filmed in a controlled environment. These are all professional actors. So don’t have too many expectations in terms of your performance. 

Set the Rules 

Not everybody has interests in the same things. If you love doing something, it doesn’t mean that others do as well. That’s why, after you’ve gotten to know each other, it’s important to set the rules and stick to them. Don’t make anybody feel uncomfortable by doing something they don’t like. 

You already know your partner’s boundaries, but find what your “guest” is not ready to do. It will help you avoid having a buzzkill when you’re already engaged in hot action. We recommend you to have a “safe word”. It’s a subtle way of stopping something that will break the rules you’ve established.

Like that you will not ruin the mood for you or anybody else, communication is crucial in a successful threesome.

 These rules can include: 

  • Fingering
  • BDSM action
  • Blow jobs
  • Anal sex
  • Sex toys
  • Dirty talk
  • Penetration 

Avoid Heavy Intoxication 

We encourage you to make yourself lose by having a couple of drinks. But we recommend avoiding heavy drinking at all costs. Sex Therapist Mrs. Petra Zebroff Ph.D., stated on her blog, that heavy drinking could lead to erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness.

Vaginal dryness leads to pain while having sex. It will make a man have delayed ejaculation, and women will need more stimulus to her vagina to have an orgasm. Alcohol numbs your senses, so you cannot reach the full potential a threesome has to offer. 

The same thing is to use heavy drugs. Even though smoking a little bit of marijuana will help you relax before sex, heavy drugs will not. Heavy drugs have bad side effects on your body. All this could blur your mind, and even make you break any pre-set rules that you’ve established. 

Jealousy is a Big No-No! 

Before you even consider a threesome, you should ask yourself, are you the jealous type? Jealousy is the biggest issue when it comes to partner sharing, so first, sit down and think about it. It can be that you are not ready to see your partner enjoying some hot action with another person.

It’s not the same if a person writes cute messages to your partner and when you see them having crazy hot sex. A small dose of jealousy is fine, but seeing this brings it to a completely different level. Don’t indulge in a threesome if you’re not completely confident that you are ready to see it.

Try to be emotionless as much as you can. All this could even cause marriage problems in the future, so talk with your spouse and make sure that jealousy won’t be an issue for you. So, once again, communication is the key to success. 

Always Have Protection 

Wearing protection is very important, not only for threesome sex but in all kinds of sex that includes more than one person. STD is a public health issue for quite some time, so having protection is a must. By protecting yourself and others, you can feel safe in doing whatever you like in a threesome. 

Always have extra condoms with you because you will need to change them a few times. Another issue you would be protecting a female partner from unwanted pregnancy. It’s a well-known fact that this happens if you are not careful enough. 

In the middle of hardcore sex, any of you might get carried away, and ejaculate in a woman. In three-way intercourse, this creates a huge problem. So don’t get in a position where you will need to get a fraternity test or even an abortion. 

How could you ever explain this to anybody without feeling ashamed? Be smart, always use protection! Other things we recommend that you have are wet wipes, water, and sanitizer.

Get Aroused by Watching Your Partner Having Sex 

Cuckold Fetish Style

Cuckold is a fetish when a husband is watching his wife having sex with another man. Some people enjoy this in a threesome because it’s hot AF. Cuckold is a term for the man watching his wife, but it doesn’t mean that it cannot be the other way around. 

Women can also have the same fetish watching her husband hammering another lady or man in their bed. Start like this, and after your hormones go wild, join the crazy action. Your partners will be more than ready to let you in.

Make sure you establish the rules as a “watcher” because you wouldn’t like to see your partner in an awkward position. If you were still not completely sure about being jealous, this is a good way to remove any doubts. You can learn more about Cuckold by watching videos on sites like Porn Hub or Red Tube. 

No Sleepovers 

Never allow your new friend to stay overnight. That’s by far the biggest rule you have to follow to keep your feelings private. Couples should use the time after a threesome to reconnect and talk about their experience. 

Sometimes this experience can lead to your partner regretting their actions. If this is your first time, talk about it in private, before talking to the third person in public. Tell your new friend about this rule ahead of time so that there would be no hard feelings after. 

Everybody MUST Involved in the Action 

For threesome to be successful, all three ways must take part and reach the climax in the end. As a couple, you cannot treat your third-person only as a prop. No one should feel left out. You must commit to making sure everybody enjoys their time, so this could be a real threesome.

If you are a man involved with two beautiful women, you might have a difficult time prolonging your climax. Don’t stop after reaching it. If one person didn’t have an orgasm, it should be your goal to make it happen. Ask the person what you could do more to please her. 

After all, why should this be only a one-time deal? If everybody had a great time, you will be craving to come back for more.

Stop if You Feel Uncomfortable

Not all threesome have to succeed. Even though you have a strong wish to proceed with your plans, that doesn’t mean that you’ll do it. It’s always better to call it off if you feel unsure about the whole thing. 

If you feel bad and stay quiet, it can harm you in the long run, so don’t feel embarrassed speaking up about it. Also, if another person decides to put a stop to it, don’t pressure him or her to change their mind. NO means NO, so always have respect for each other. 

Break the Rules After Some Time

After a couple of successful sessions, you will start to feel more comfortable to try new stuff. A before established set of rules can change if you start to have more trust in your sex partners. It’s normal behavior, explore your sexuality, and others will welcome it. How can you know what you like if you’ve never tried it? 

Get Together After the Act 

In the same way, when you met before the threesome, you should also do it after. Have a nice dinner, or have a drink, and talk freely about your experience. If one of you feels awkward talking about it, it’s a nice way to make the person feel comfortable.

Share your thoughts and feelings. For sure, it will develop new ideas about what you could try next time you meet in bed. 

Exploring your sexuality is an exciting thing to do. We hope these tips will help you in setting up your first successful threesome. It can be a real challenge for some without a proper guide. So if you choose to do so, you’ll need all the tips and tricks you can get.

If you follow these steps, we are sure it will help you reach your goal. Let us know if you have any suggestions or experiences that can make this list better.

References

How Many People Are Really Interested in Threesomes?
Heterosexual Young Adults’ Interest, Attitudes, and Experiences Related to Mixed-Gender, Multi-Person Sex
10 of the most notorious sex clubs around the world
The public health approach to STD control

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How to Have a Threesome — From Start to Finish
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